Day 10

The Pictures
*The hammocks where I am always chillen
*Will, Me, Alicia, Lucien, Stef & Erin- on Lucien's last night (the crazy night at Chicos)
*Lucien, Kristen the Yoga Instructor, Torrien & I
*The waterfall jump that claimed the life of my dear camera _ see it's not that far


SOOOOOOO.... This morning I was a very bad girl. As my little blue 2$ alarm clock buzzer was buzzing.... I decided to not go to surfing. My muscles feel non existent. I got way too much sun yesterday and just needed a little sleep in. Sleeping in to me used to mean until approx 2 in the afternoon but today 9:30 was fabulous. I got up and heard the cleaning lady and so I ducked out to go to breakfast down stairs. Jeanie and Erin were studying spanish and so I just went to my own little table. I ordered the mango smoothie and a fresh fruit bowl. I really wanted El Sano Banano toast but was too lazy to walk into town. Alicia came down and joined me too. She always looks so cute in her little sundresses. It makes me wish I had packed more (yes mom I know you told me that.)
After breaky I went to lay in the hammocks and read. It was just way too hot so I headed into my room. The cleaning lady changed my sheets so that was FABULOUS! She's good but she's no Linda. (haha) I laid in bed and facebooked and Perezed and was basically just chillen until one. I have a "sensual massage" in the yoga pavilion. I don't think I could have picked a better day because I am actually that sore. Oh and yesterday- I renewed my MAC make-up artist license. I can still be on vaca and be responsible! I'm so good! lol
My Sensuualll Masssaaage was Fabulous. She was from Germany and knew exactly what muscles to work on based on the activities I am doing here. She explained how surfers use certain muscles in their arms that most people may never use in their life. She got out all the kinks from horseback riding and it was fabulous. I smell like coconut and love it! I think I may get another on my last week here. (thats a sad thought).
I think the sun really got to me yesterday, because I am flat out exhausted. It's 90' here (31 Celsius) but it's humid as anything. We need a rain fall desperately. My nose and shoulders are a little bit too pink... even with SPF 70. Soo I'm just going to lounge around in my room (A.C.) and the Hammocks today. I don't even think I am going to go into town for lunch because I'm just enjoying my relaxing day out of the sun.
It's been so nice here because I feel like I can completely be myself. I have had no problem telling people my story. Usually I hate all the pity that is associated with cancer but here its not pity but wow- you are such a strong positive person. I love that. I love how people understand that it was and will always be one of the most significant things that has happened to me in my life. I feel like a lot of people back home don't get that. They don't realize the damper it put on my life. They have a brush your self off attitude and get back up. Yes I think you need to get back up and back into life attitude but there is still a lot more too it. A lot of people back home- don't realize that it was a near death experience (Three times), that I missed out on majority of my teenage years. That while they were at the movies or with friends, I was cooped up in a hospital, that while they were complaining about their bad hair days... I was just wishing I had hair. I never want to talk about it back home because people don't get that it completely ruined my life and I am starting from scratch. There is a difference between pity and sympathy. Here people are sympathetic and supportive and barely know me but proud. I just like feeling like someone care's but also they don't let it define me.
I know that whole last paragraph may not have come out as I intended because I have a difficult time putting my feelings into words... but this is my blog lol and I know what I meant.
I think July was the perfect month for me to come down here because there is a significant event that takes place in July that's kind of affecting me. I'm glad I have the distraction of being down here but lately- it's still been on my mind. My journey for self rejuvenation is still not complete or half way there. I said this would take all of 2009. This is my transformation year. To transform my life to be the best it can be. To let go of the past, no matter how much I want to hold on (and believe me there are some really big things I am having trouble letting go of) to become the healthiest I can be, because it doesn't happen over night. Just to become the best person I can possibly be- happy, healthy, motivated and strong (mentally, physically & emotionally.)
This is a difficult thing... I mean I am going crazy without Roxy- I may tear up just thinking about him. I would give anything for those little kisses right now. You truly don't realize how much something means to you until it is gone.
Enough emotional babble for today- I'm off to read and chug water. (You're supposed to drink water after a massage.)
SO after I read for a bit- and chugged water- I went and had lunch at the hotel restaurant. I had a cheese burger. It was really good and I really need some serious protein and carbs. I was good though- I didn't order fries and I only ate half the bun. I came back up to my room and just passed out.
I woke up with 30 minutes left until yoga. I almost didn't go but then figured- I am here for the yoga "Get your damn @$$ out of bed". It helped too that Chris came and knocked on my door and kept me busy until it was time to leave. He wanted me to go see the movie with him and I REALLY wanted to go. It was MILK. But I was good and went to yoga and I'm glad I did.
While in meditation today I decided over the next year and a half I really want to pursue my yoga teacher training. If I get the job at lulu (which I will because of Karmic Energy), it will be perfect. Even if I don't get the job at lulu- maybe I can get a job as a yoga teacher. After talking to Kristen- the teacher here- she's from San Diego (or maybe San Fran - I can't remember) anyway- she teaches in Costa Rica during her summers. Although I am considering publishing... teaching is my back up and I will have summers off. I could live in foreign places and teach yoga for my summers. How cool is that. I mean it's a little far fetched but shoot for the moon- because if you miss at least you can fall on one of the stars along the way.
I made the effort to talk to she who cannot be named tonight. I still don't like her. I invited her to dinner with me but and I quote "doesn't eat late because I graze throughout the day". Before inviting her... matt was doing poi (fire dancing) and she came up and I was like have you ever seen this before- I got one of her know it all speeches. Like OH it originated in New Zealand and I saw it when I lived in Hawaii. It's not what she says because- thats awesome - I didn't know that it originated in NZ> It's how she says it. Like Oh how could you not know that or oh your stupid because you didnt know that. Also as Jerry Seinfeld would say- she's a low talker- you can barely hear her. I will crack her. I will like her lol!
I think taking today off and just sleeping and relaxing was a good call. I was just super tired and needed to catch up on my sleep. I don't want to over work my body to the point where I can't enjoy myself. I said to my dad that the first week would be super exhausting and the second week would be H- E 2xhockey stick. lol I am proving to right. I am SO sore and tired. I think I just had an off day. What better way than to just get back up on the horse and start over again tomorrow.
Sooo Surfing in the morning, reading all day and then Yoga tomorrow night.
I'm off to town to find something to munch on. Then to bed for surfing in the morning!
xoxoxox